


When I'm Ready For You, Baby

by atitforatat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Getting Back Together, Hinata spent more time in Brazil, M/M, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Sad with a Happy Ending, kagehina needs lots of hugs, they also need to hug themselves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atitforatat/pseuds/atitforatat
Summary: Hinata leaves.Kageyama is left to wonder why.XHinata is supposed to explain why.Kageyama waits.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 47





	When I'm Ready For You, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little ashamed of posting a random oneshot when I'm supposed to finish my three chaptered stories, but anyway, here it is a kagehina based on someone new from banks
> 
> hope you guys like it, sorry for any mistakes!
> 
> edit: listen to someone new while reading, it makes it better I swear

**X**

**_Believe in you, believe in me._ **

When Shouyou thinks about those last weeks before going to Brazil, he likes remembering the places he went with Tobio instead of thinking about any volleyball related things (as if Tobio isn’t volley and volley isn’t him in Shouyou’s perspective).

They went to every single touristic spot they could find in Tokyo, enjoying the afterglow of their third year as Nationals contestants. Even if they hadn’t won any, just going three fucking times was magic in itself. Going with Tobio was magic.

_(Tobio was magic.)_

Shouyou slept soundlessly knowing they went as far as they could with Karasuno. Even now, so many years later, and far, _so_ far, away from it and everything it represents and holds, he knows they did their best. They parted ways at the exact moment Karasuno needed to grow by itself and all the third years needed to do the same. He never changed his views on this. He knows he never will. He understands that growing is something that, sometimes, you need to do all by yourself, in a very far place, with some new faces and a lot of nostalgia. He never changes it.

_(He also never stops wishing Tobio would understand this too.)_

In each new place they visited (including the so dreamed Tokyo Tower), they always ended up in a mess of limbs, hands, and mouths, because the trophy wasn’t the only thing Shouyou (admittedly) wanted to grab. Tobio’s only complaint was always about the few pictures he got to take.

Hinata can’t not smile when thinking about this. Times when he was constantly feeling and doings things like his life depended on them, though he knew (and he still knows…) that his life was just by his side, calling him an idiot in that affectionate tone (that both hadn’t recognized as affectionate yet), holding his hand whenever life threw something weird on them.

For all the love he feels for these moments and memories, he can’t make himself say he wants to go back to them. Playing and training under 31º C almost every day gives him better sensations than playing at Karasuno could ever give him. Knowing that Tobio is in everything he does here makes him happy with it. Even if he knows perfectly well that the sensation isn’t the same on the other side of the world.

His smile falters a bit. _Nothing comes for free_ , he thinks. He knows Tobio is worth it. Every time he gets better, every new move he learns, every compliment he gets, Shouyou knows Tobio is in it. And, for now, that is enough.

For a bit more time, it will have to be enough.

_(He’ll come back for Tobio one day. When he’s ready. He ain’t ready yet.)_

It’s another day, he wakes to Pedro calling him. For a moment he fears he’s late for training (Heitor feels very Japanese-like when complaining about punctuality), but quickly realizes it’s just Pedro not knowing where he put the coffee pot as any other morning.

He goes to his daily training with images of black hair and ugly smiles. He hears the affectionate “idiot”, but, on the way to the beach, remembers the last not so affectionate one.

 _Everything is gonna be worth it_ , he thinks.

_(He’ll come back for Tobio. He just ain’t ready.)_

He’s sure of everything, his feelings, Tobio, but, if in secret, if in the smallest part of his mind, he prays for Tobio to never fall for someone new, no one, not even him, needs to know.

**X**

**_I can love you desperately, though your love ain't guaranteed._ **

The last thing Kageyama feels comfortable remembering anything high school-related was Hinata’s tears that last day. At the time, he was crying too. From seeing the other’s tears but also from what they meant.

It was the last time he didn’t felt hate or rage when thinking about Hinata.

_(He likes and hates that it was the last time he saw Hinata at all.)_

He would like to say it was the last time he thought about Hinata at all, but it wasn’t. And, maybe, there would never be 'a' last time. He isn’t proud of it, but he at least knows he isn’t suffering for anything. He has a reason, a valid motive.

He has love.

Not one he wants to, but he tried moving on once and it hurt more. So having it was the way. He treats it like an old cat who keeps pestering a random person until this person adopts it. He won’t adopt this particular cat, but he is also incapable of not feeding it and letting it die.

His ( _their_ ) friends don’t tell him to move on. Don’t tell him to go after Hinata. Don’t tell him anything about this. It’s like Hinata never existed when Tobio was involved. Or maybe they can’t call him by his last name and don’t want to name the devil in front of him.

He can’t say his first name out loud either, so he thanks them for that. They say when you name a devil, you’re automatically summoning it.

_(He fears calling it out loud and his devilish sun not appearing for him.)_

Shouyou calls their friends sometimes, and even though they try to keep it a secret from him, he knows. Hitoka and Tadashi’s guilty expressions the three to four days after a call usually give them in. Tsukishima usually just blurts it after a day or two. It’s funny how guilt eats him, and he just stops and says “he called me, he didn’t say much, just wished good look and said he was well, DON’T CRY”.

Only Tsukishima says, “don’t cry” (more like _screams_ it), but all of his ( _theirs_ ) closer friends look at him the same way sometimes. Kageyama can’t cry over it even if he wanted (which he doesn’t, seriously). Guiltiness won’t let him. He was the one who said, “don’t call me, don’t text me, if you’re giving up on us, then do it for sure”. He is also the one who regrets saying it, but, well, life is made of regrets. He lived with it for five years, he can live with it for another five. He knows he’ll have to live with it for all the eternity of life.

_(Because life without his little sun feels eternal. An eternal freezing hell.)_

Regret is the other cat trying to get adopted, but Tobio is not enamored by it so he tries to make it go away. It doesn’t go, though.

When Tobio knows he called, this cat steals the “love” one’s food. It doesn’t get any weaker even after spending some days without being fed.

_(‘Cause a love will always be loveable, and the more you try to kill it, the more it thrives.)_

He lives in Tokyo now. He likes to walk from his building to his team’s gym instead of catching the subway. Everything in Tokyo is somehow beautiful.

 _(He saw everything in Tokyo_ with _Hinata,_ through _Hinata.)_

The Tokyo Tower isn’t that incredible after you see it almost every week for five years, but Tokyo hasn’t lost its magic just yet.

_(Tokyo hasn’t forgotten to reflect Hinata’s magic in each place they went just yet.)_

He makes his everyday walk again today. He sees bright orange hair all the way (even if Hinata has never walked in this street before). He hears the “jerk” and he feels the spell that used to envelop them. He remembers the “I’m not ready for you now” while walking.

He hasn’t forgotten Hinata’s magic, the pure and the evil, just yet either.

_(He hasn’t forgotten Hinata.)_

_Everything goes_ , he concludes. He wishes to know why, but he already knows. He doesn’t wish to understand.

_(He doesn’t wish to understand why he feeds the love-cat.)_

He’s unsure of everything, his feelings, Hinata, but, if in secret, if in the surest part of his mind, he prays for Hinata to forever be the one, his one, no one, not even him, needs to know.

**X**

**_Please, don't fall in love with someone new._ **

Shouyou doesn’t like to think he is not the only one preparing himself. He refuses to delude himself over it. Everything he does, he does for them, for Tobio, for him. He knows Tobio didn’t sit and wait.

He remembers every single thing Tobio said. Each word still burns his skin. He remembers saying he needed space, but that he also needed Tobio to be patient. He didn’t need Tobio not to hate him, but he would die for it.

He hadn’t heard his voice in six years. He has seen his face (he gets frustrated at how handsome he still is). Oikawa-san laughs at him every time they met. He goes to Japan every year or Iwaizumi-san comes to Argentina so they can see each other. The couple and the rest of their friends ask him the same questions. He knows he didn’t need to literally go to the other side of the world to grow, of course, he knows. But he also knows he wouldn’t be able to separate his growth from Tobio’s.

He knows Tobio wouldn’t ever ask himself how people lived and died alone. He needed the experience just like Shouyou. They needed space, time, and themselves so, one day, they could be together again. As two parts of a whole who won’t die if ever left alone.

_(Shouyou prays that he experienced. Alone. Without another someone.)_

Because Tobio didn’t understand healthy solitude. And Shouyou admits he always feared being alone. He knows eventually this could destroy them. He only wants forever when it comes to Tobio. Forever cost six years and probably two broken hearts, but Hinata from six years ago accepted the price. And Hinata from now paid it proudly.

_(He ignores the little voice calling him selfish for making decisions for two people while advocating their need to live their own lives. The voice hurts more when it starts to sound like Tobio’s.)_

He hopes that Tobio thinks he’s worth the price too.

( _I told you weren't lyin', I know you aren't relyin'_

_And now I am supplyin' you the time and space_

_To let you grow into the person that I know_

_That I know you could be_

_And I can be her too and I'll come back to you_

_When I'm ready for you, baby_ )

“I am ready for you now”, someone says when Kageyama picks up.

Kageyama can’t believe after six years he hasn’t changed at all his manners. He takes the phone from his ear and just stares chocked at the device in his hands. The voice on the other side is a little rough, a bit breathless like right after someone has a coughing fit. He wants to ask if that idiot forgot the difference in seasons between Japan and Brazil but refrains himself. He doesn’t even know if Hinata is in Japan. But his heart is acting as a compass, if listens close, he can feel it pointing to the other’s direction.

_(Or maybe, his heart is just hoping too much.)_

The naturality in which his mind worried about the fucker scares and pisses him off in a single hit. He doesn’t want to stay here listening to the breathing patterns on the other side, but he can’t bring himself to end the call.

What he has been imagining for six years is sort of happening and he doesn’t know what to do. He knows Hinata is waiting for something, anything. Tobio fears for his own heart.

_(He wonders if he’s ready for him too.)_

“Where are you?”, Tobio gives up. Maybe seeing him would help decide what to do.

_(The hardest answers are the ones that were ready even before the question was made.)_

“Do you know a place called Tokyo Tower?”, asks the other, audibly letting out a breath. The way Hinata gets calmer just from that makes his heart clench. “Yeah, I do”, he can’t help but laugh a little.

 _Yeah_ , he thinks, he knows it just too well.

**_We're meant to be together._ **

**X**

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, pls tell me what you thought?


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